October 10th
So, we’ve decided to meet at Jordan’s house on Friday so he can get my measurements for my outfit. He, apparently, already has some designs sketched up but he refuses to show any of them to me until Friday, the jerk XD. But knowing Jordan, all of them are awesome looking and he’ll throw them all out and complete a brand new sketch before we get to his house after school on Friday. To be honest, I am both excited and scare out of my wits. Once my outfit and bike are finished, I’ll be attending my first ever energy orb retrieval. I’m so close and yet, so far away. Is this weird unknown feeling what it’s like to be an adult? Making life choices without knowing what the true outcome will be?

I don’t know if I like this feeling of responsibility, no matter how enthralling it is…

I just have to keep telling myself that it’s all for a good cause. I just know that doing nothing will just continue to make me miserable. I just want to be given one chance to prove myself and my gadgets before I truly give up on this path of life. Just let me test my tracker and my ability in a retrieval and I’ll judge if my family is right in turning me away. But I have just as much of a right to test myself just like my other siblings got to. I’m just so tired of being alone.

I had to eat my supper by myself last night, only seeing my family for a few seconds when I got home from school. Apparently, Ray had contacted them right before I walked in and Shrapnel and Typhoon were already on the scent of the EO so they needed to catch up. However, this retrieval lasted until early this morning, seeing as they were all still up, nursing injuries when I came down for breakfast. Which told me that Python also joined the fray sometime last night. And with how moody everyone was, I don’t think they were the triumphant ones on this retrieval. But, I mean, how would I know? Nobody told me anything.
Nobody texted me to let me know they were all right. I mean, it’s not like I care or anything. It’s not like they don’t have any way to contact me, unlike me, who isn’t allowed to have access to any sort of communication with them while on a retrieval. So, I mean, how would I know how they obtained their injuries? Or how severe they are?

HOW WOULD I KNOW WHEN NOBODY WILL DISCUSS IT WITH? DO THEY THINK THAT I DON’T CARE? IS IT SUCH A CHORE TO CALL YOUR YOUNGEST AND LET HIM KNOW WHERE YOU ARE?

Why can’t I be trusted like Evelyn, Matt, and Wyatt? Because I don’t have powers I’m not trustworthy? I thought that when I turned 18 that maybe Mom and Dad would be willing to include me in all those little family meetings they have when they lose an orb to a villain. Or that my siblings would be at least start sharing some information with me. I understood when I was younger, seeing that they wanted to protect my “innocence” but honestly, I would sneak to the top of the stairs and listen in on their meeting anyways and not always quietly. There’s no reason for them to hide this from me. I’m an adult now, right? I can handle it! I just want to be included in what’s happening. Like, we could come up with a code or something if they need to leave while I’m at school so I don’t come home to an empty house like I’ve been known to do.

Now that I’m writing all of this down, it’s just strengthening my resolve to follow through with this plan that we’ve come up with. If they’re not going to include me willingly, I’ll just have to do it myself. And if that means becoming a villain for a day, then so be it. And I found something that will make it easier. The voice changing choker, or V.C.C as I like to dub it, that I made back in my sophomore year and it still works! If I wear this while out on my retrieval, then if I run into my family then they won’t recognize me right away if I talk. Which, according to Wyatt, I do a lot of. I just need to stop by the store tomorrow after school and pick up new batteries so that it doesn’t accidentally die on me. I really, really don’t want to get grounded for sneaking to a retrieval.

Oh, I almost forgot, Mike also agreed to sell me his bike. Maybe I wrote something about it earlier, but oh well. He dropped the price to $50 hearing that it was me who was gonna buy it and brought it over right after my folks left. I hid it in the shed behind the garage since I’m the only one who goes in there. I’m just happy that the bike is in rather good condition so any modification I make this weekend should be pretty superficial. But if I’m gonna be a proper villain, I need the bike to match my aesthetic, or that’s what Taylor told me. She has better access to that kind of material than I do, her parents working in news and all. But even the web seems to support her claims. Shrapnel on her awesome-looking motorcycle that looks like she’s riding an actual bullet, Python on her three-wheeled golden motorcycle and dragon-shaped jet, and Typhoon’s color-changing sports car. I, honestly, think that my ride will look nowhere near as wicked as those professional villains, but I think I can make do. It’s only for one day.

I also found some of my siblings’ old gadgets and training weapons that they practiced with when they were younger and trying to fully control their powers and strength. I’ve watched them train enough with them to know the proper grip and I may, or may not, have taken to sneaking down to the training area whenever I was left to my own devices. And I know for a fact that none of this stuff has been touched in years, so I might as well make use of it right? Recycling. It helps the planet. And, if I’m not the only “villain” attending whichever retrieval I attend, I need to make sure I have a way to defend myself. I’m not dumb, I know that I’m nowhere near as strong as the rest of my family, powers or not, and I’m not so full of myself to think I can be on their level. And besides…

I’m gonna need all the help I can get.